Upside-Down Flags and Right-Side Up Hypocrisy: Justice Alito’s Post-Election Patriotism

Upside-Down Flags and Right-Side Up Hypocrisy: Justice Alito’s Post-Election Patriotism

In a move that surely had George Washington rolling in his grave and Thomas Jefferson reaching for his quill to draft another Declaration, Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito’s house proudly displayed an upside-down American flag after the 2020 election. The New York Times reports that this act of inverted patriotism, a favorite among the “Stop the Steal” crowd, adorned Alito’s Virginia home on January 17, 2021. The timing is impeccable, considering the conservative wing of the Supreme Court is preparing to hear high-stakes cases involving the 2020 election and the January 6th insurrection.

Alito, attempting to distance himself from this clear symbol of MAGA mania, claimed in an email to the Times that it was his wife’s doing, a response to a neighbor’s “objectionable and personally insulting language on yard signs.” Ah, yes, the classic marital scapegoat defense—when in doubt, blame the spouse. Surely Mrs. Alito, an unsung hero in this narrative, was just defending the honor of her pristine lawn from those dastardly signs advocating for decency and democracy.

One can only imagine the scene in Alexandria: neighbors locking horns over political lawn art while the Alito household descends into anarchy, flipping Old Glory as if auditioning for a reality TV show about suburban strife. But let’s not be too harsh; after all, nothing says “rule of law” quite like adopting the same symbols as a violent mob attempting to overthrow the government.

This revelation adds another layer of absurdity to the already surreal saga of our highest court. The timing couldn’t be more ironic. Alito, along with his conservative cohort Clarence Thomas, has already faced criticism for their cozy ties to political movements and dubious ethical decisions. Thomas, ever the paragon of judicial impartiality, has defended himself against allegations of bias by calling his critics “nasty” and “liars.” Charming.

In response to these scandals, the Supreme Court graciously decided to adopt a code of conduct. Now, the justices are gently reminded to “refrain from political activity.” A quaint suggestion, akin to asking a fox to kindly refrain from raiding the henhouse.

This whole debacle is a masterclass in the art of conservative contortionism. The same folks who wrap themselves in the flag while undermining its values, who champion law and order while excusing insurrection, now find themselves symbolically upside-down, just like the flag outside Alito’s home. The flag that once stood for unity and justice is now a banner for discord and delusion, much like the very justices who pretend to uphold its principles.

But let’s give credit where it’s due: Alito and his flag-waving family have brought a new level of theatricality to the high court. Their home is now a contender for “Best Performance in a Political Farce.” Perhaps next season, they can add a moat and drawbridge to really complete the medieval siege aesthetic.

So, what’s next for Alito and his flag-waving family? Perhaps a commemorative lawn ornament collection, featuring mini-gallows and Capitol-sized LEGO sets? Or maybe a line of bespoke tinfoil hats, perfect for those Supreme Court cocktail parties where they discuss the finer points of judicial activism and conspiracies?

In the end, this episode is a stark reminder of the growing chasm between the ideals of justice and the reality of those who are supposed to dispense it. When the symbols of our nation are turned on their heads by the very people entrusted with upholding them, it’s clear: the American dream is indeed hanging by a thread—or perhaps, an upside-down flag.