Martha Stewart’s Unrealistic Expectations
Today, we have a real gem from the queen of unrealistic expectations herself, Martha Stewart. At 81, she’s proving that age doesn’t necessarily bring wisdom—especially when it comes to understanding the modern workplace.
Zoom Fatigue? More Like Boom Fatigue!
Martha Stewart recently graced TODAY with Hoda & Jenna with her presence to share her disdain for remote work and the newfangled three-day, in-person workweek. “It just doesn’t get the work done in the right way,” she lamented. Of course, Martha can’t stomach another Zoom meeting; after all, it’s hard to perfect those homemade lavender-infused quiches when your employees are tiny squares on a screen.
While the world was grappling with a pandemic, Martha’s solution was to set up an office space in her home for her employees to gather. Yes, because nothing says “I value your health and safety” like demanding your staff come over during a global health crisis to help you decide which floral arrangement best complements your living room.
Three-Day Workweek? Not in Martha’s World!
For those forward-thinking companies that have embraced the three-day, in-person workweek, Martha’s response is simple: “I just don’t agree with it. I just don’t.” It’s almost as if the very idea of work-life balance is a personal affront to her meticulously curated empire.
“It’s frightening,” she added, warning us all of the impending economic doom that a reduced in-office schedule would surely bring. Because clearly, the real threat to our economy isn’t, say, systemic inequality or a global pandemic, but people working from home in their yoga pants.
France: The Lazy Nation
In a previous interview with Footwear News, Martha graciously compared the productivity of the United States with that of France. “Look at the success of France with their stupid … you know, off for August, blah blah blah. That’s not a very thriving country,” she scoffed. Yes, because the French, with their renowned joie de vivre, robust social systems, and six-week vacations, clearly don’t know how to thrive.
Call Anytime, Especially on Sundays
At the height of the pandemic, Martha told Harper's Bazaar that employers should have the right to call employees anytime — even on weekends. After all, why should a deadly virus get in the way of micromanagement?
She shared a horror story of an employee who refused her call on a Sunday because he was taking a bath. “I knew I couldn’t work with that person,” she said. If you can’t drop everything to answer a call from Martha Stewart on your day off, are you even living? Forget self-care; your boss’s whims come first.
Out of Touch and Proud of It
Martha Stewart’s comments are a masterclass in being out of touch with reality. While most of us mere mortals are trying to balance work, life, and the occasional mental breakdown, Martha is busy ensuring that every second of our day is accounted for—preferably in her service.
In the grand tradition of “Work from Home Bullshit,” Martha Stewart has provided us with a shining example of what not to do. So, here’s to you, Martha. May your soufflés rise as high as your unrealistic expectations. And to everyone else: take that bath, ignore the Sunday calls, and remember that work should never come at the expense of your sanity.
Source: Martha Stewart doubles down on her remote work comments: ‘I just don’t agree with it’
